Self-portrait with butterfly on hand - transformation and shadow work

We are in the heart of Autumn, the season of transformation and renewal. All around us, Mother Nature is letting go - death and decay moving in her own rhythm. Leaves fall softly to the ground, mushrooms rise from what was once alive, nuts and seeds drop and settle into the earth. Everything preparing, everything releasing.

Samhain has passed. The final harvest is gathered, and the days are drawing closer to Winter - that long season of stillness and hibernation. The air grows colder. Darkness arrives earlier each evening. We can feel it: the descent.

The Sun moves through the final degrees of Scorpio season, that sign so deeply connected to the energy of the Underworld, to death and rebirth, to release and renewal. And something remarkable is happening - the heavens are mirroring the earth. Just as we enter the darker half of the year here in the Northern Hemisphere, Venus begins her own descent.

On November 26th, Venus enters the Underworld. She disappears from the evening sky, no longer visible, hidden in the depths. Her 19-month cycle takes her below, into transformation, into the unseen.

We find ourselves in the darker times of the year. This is the season for deep inner work, for turning inward, for meeting what lives in the shadows - those parts of ourselves hidden in the Underworld.

But what is shadow work?

The Shadow

The term "shadow" comes from Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. He used it to describe the parts of ourselves we reject, repress, or simply don't want to see.

These aren't just the "negative" parts - our anger, our envy, our shame. The shadow also holds our unlived potential, our undeveloped gifts, the parts of us that never got permission to bloom.

When we ignore what lives in the shadow, it doesn't disappear. Instead, it manifests - through emotional outbursts, self-sabotage, patterns we can't seem to break. Shadow work is the practice of turning toward these hidden parts, bringing them into awareness, and integrating them back into our whole self.

Self-portrait in the shadow - transformation and shadow work — “What we admire or envy in others is often a reflection of what already lives within us.”

Meeting My Inner Dark Goddess 🐦‍⬛

A few weeks ago, at the beginning of Scorpio season, I felt something rising. The shadow, pushing up from the depths, wanting to be seen. Wanting to be acknowledged and welcomed with an open heart.

I opened my journal and wrote: "I'm trying to understand what is going on, with my mind instead of my body. Scorpio doesn't make it lighter, but shines the light on it even more. I'm angry, frustrated, irritated. I wish for passion, desire, feeling alive right now."

I could feel it moving through me - this restlessness, this hunger - but I couldn't understand it yet. Not with my mind. I had to go deeper first.

Before this breaking point, I had received a message. A Raven appeared on my path, asking: What part of you is ready to be released?

Something was opening. I didn't know what was coming.

A few weeks later, I made time for shadow work. For me, this means shamanic journeying - descending to the Lower World to meet with my spirit helpers, bringing a clear question, an intention.

I journeyed to meet Raven. I asked her to show me what was ready to be released.

But instead of answering directly, she asked me something in return: What do you desire? What is missing from your life?

And suddenly, I saw it. Myself - wild and free, without fear or anxiety. Fully alive.

I realized: I've been hiding this part of myself. The deep and intense woman. The one who feels deeply, sees more, knows more, receives more. The one who wants to dig deep, to transform, to heal and nurture. I keep saying I want to go deeper, bring my work to a deeper level - but I don't do it because I'm afraid.

Afraid of what?

Of showing my darkness. My ability. Of people thinking I'm weird, strange, an imposter. I've been denying a part of myself for so long. But slowly, she's been coming to the surface.

What was ready to be released wasn't a specific wound or trauma. It was the story I had been telling about myself - the incomplete version, the one that was acceptable, the one that fit. The version of myself that denied the woman who feels deeply and receives visions. The woman who is fiery, passionate, intense.

I was ready to welcome those parts back. To release the shame and fear around being "too much." To reclaim the fire I had been taught to dim.

And now, the real work begins. Integration. Embodiment. Keeping these parts in the light instead of pushing them back into the darkness. Not once, but again and again - every time the fear rises, every time I catch myself dimming my fire to make others comfortable. This is the practice.

Guidance On Your Path

Perhaps you feel something rising in you too. Perhaps you recognize this call to meet your shadows, to descend alongside Venus.

I've created a Shadow Work Guide for Venus in the Underworld (€14,44) to support you through this journey. (available from November 26th) And if you need personal guidance, you can always reach out at hello@ellagiljam.com.

Soon, I'll share more about how to begin your own shadow work practice. Until then - breathe, and listen to what's rising.